ponder
And maybe I just have too many emotions for you. I used to think I was the problem, that I could feel something so real in a place so raw and that I needed to be more numb, more numb like you who made me feel like I was in the other category because I could look at an infinity point and ponder, wonder what it would be like to be yours and feel a kind of elation. But I am too flesh and bones and when I write these words I bleed too much and you don’t know what it’s like to hold me, to hold someone so real.